Little MotherFucking Piece of Shit

Yeah, that’s right. I’m a grown up. So I give her advice instead, hope for the best and try not to have a heart attack while I wait for the day to pass.
When MissM entered SK (senior kindergarten), she ended up in a split class, half SK, half Grade One. Basically this situation makes it ripe for the kiddy thugs to terrify the little ones. And this one little motherfucking piece of shit (LMFPOS!) zeroed in on MissM. Every time she spoke, he would cut her off and call her comments stupid; he would start games with classmates and would purposely leave her out. So yes, I hated LMFPOS with all my heart.
“Just stay away from him, sweety.”
“But daddy, he sits at the same pod as I do.”
The kids are seated at little round tables of five. This encourages communication.
“Yesterday he told me to shut up 100 times!”
“Did you tell the teacher?”
“She told LMFPOS to stop, but he didn’t. Then he called me a tattletale and made fun of me more.”
“Well then Sweety, you are going to have to take care of this.”
“But daddy, he’s a big kid! He’s in Grade One!”
“Doesn’t matter. The next time LMFPOS says anything mean to you, I want you to say, Hey LMFPOS! You are not the boss of me! I can do whatever I want! And when he tells a story, you tell him to shut up and that he’s boring!”
“I’ll get in trouble for being mean!”
“If they call me and tell me that’s what happened, I promise you, baby, you will not be in trouble.”
And then she was quiet. Quiet the whole way home. I had no idea if I had helped or if my own stupid anger had just done more damage. Was I giving my child the tools she needed to cope with everyday conflicts or was I turning my daughter into a bully. I didn’t know. All I did know was that I was still incredibly fucking angry.
Sleep sucked ass that night.
The next morning sucked for me too. Hard to eat with a bellyful of anxiety. Everybody was all chipper and happy and shit, so I painted on my own smile and joined the vibe.
And the day lasted forever.
I ran to pick up MissM.
“So Sweety, how was your day?”
Thumbs up.
“And how was LMFPOS? Did he bother you.”
Stupid fucker.
“What happened?”
“Well daddy, I was telling a story and right in the middle of the story, LMFPOS yelled in my face that it was boring”
“That is not nice. He is a bully.”
“I know! So I told him that he is not the boss of me and I can say what I want and if he doesn’t like it, don’t listen.”
“Great, sweety! What did he say to that?”
“He said he was going to tell on me. I told him I didn’t care, I’m not afraid of getting in trouble.”
“And then later on, he started telling a story.”
“Good! Did you tell him how boring he was?”
This was going awesome.
“I listened. He stopped and looked at me and I said, Go ahead, LMFPOS, tell your story, I’ll listen.”
“Then he told the rest of his story. I told LMFPOS that I will never tell him to shut up, that I will always listen.”
“Baby, that is amazing.”
“We’re friends now. I’m going to his birthday party.”
We have so much to learn from our kids. Ever hear that shit before?

Damn. Fucking shit seems to be true.

5 thoughts on “Little MotherFucking Piece of Shit”

  1. you tell a good story Farhan! Our kids amaze us with some of the decisions they make, both good and bad. I read it out loud to Jim (he's not on facebook) and he laughed out loud – loved it. Moral of the story – don't cower, do what's right……and learn Karate! Linda.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *