What a fucking incredible show of strength. The women’s marches across the globe was absolutely amazing. It seemed to be happening in every major city across the globe. Today was an important day, a powerful day. But in the end, does it even matter?
Trump is President. And while today a strong message was sent to his presidency, today is now over. It’s midnight, Saturday night as I write this and all I can feel is uneasy. We’ve got four years to deal with. Today Trump and his crew continued their war on the media. The media, traditionally, has held governments accountable for their actions. Discrediting all media can very easily lead to a government that is accountable to no one. And when they boldly lie on a daily basis it’s even more scary.
We’re in Toronto. But the the thing is, that shit bleeds up here. There are Trump supporters proudly sporting his swag. Bright red hats and shirts declaring greatness for the USA. The alt right is up here, too. Posters have been found stapled to telephone poles in several neighbourhoods inviting angry white people to join their cause. The world feels unsafe.
I worry about my safety. The safety of my family. Of people just saying nasty shit in front of my kids. And I’m afraid of my reaction. Flying is going to suck again. After over 15 years, I can finally check in online. If travelling anywhere in the states I can just expect the 30, 40, 50 minute delays at the check-in while they make a “phone call.” I don’t want my kids to see this. Miss M is seven. She’s old enough to know what’s going on.
And I’m afraid for the environment. We need to leave a planet for our kids to flourish in. What happens in the next four years cannot be reversed. Miss M is an Earth Ranger. She is very proud. She’s got her fucking work cut out for her now.
But it’s the anger. The anger from the government. The anger from his supporters. The anger from his detractors. Everybody is angry and I’m angry too. Lady K is angry. Grandma was in town this weekend and she is angry. All our neighbours are angry. All my friends are angry.
I fucking hate it. I fucking hate all this anger. It’s exhausting. I’ve spent my life being angry about being treated like shit for being a brown boy, I was an angry youth for being so misunderstood and an angry adult for all the adult reasons one can have. I’m tired of it. I don’t want it anymore.
We can’t change what is going to happen. But we can change how we live our lives. Our kids need to be informed but not inundated. We need to be happy with our families.
Tonight Lady K went out for dinner and drinks with friends. I had pizza and cake with the kids while watching “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “Home Alone.” After we ate we all snuggled on the couch for the rest of the movie. It was late when I took them to bed. I sang to Little Man to get him to sleep. I cuddled with Miss M while she read. They are my world, my everything. And as long as I take care of my world, then life will be alright.
I know that not true but it’s all I’ve got.
Four fucking years. Fight the hate.